Monday, September 8, 2014

Sept 8th 2014

Ok so lots to say.
First, I want to tell a story of about um this morning's adventures. 

So after personal study this morning we were going to swap out our laundry and there was this nasty big spder on the outside of our front door - so, naturally, we wanted to kill it. So Sis Rea went outside with my shoe and I said WAIT I want a picture of it (cause it was cool nasty) so I ran back inside and we shut the door so she could hit it against the door... and my camera was dead. And when we went to get back in, the door was locked. And we were locked outside. With no phone, no key, and no shoes. (actually no, we had one shoe to kill the spider) which was actually 3 spiders. SO. It was cold. And we killed the spiders. And had absolutely no idea what to do. Beth and Gayle (2 ancient old ladies who are sisters and live together now and so cute) who live in the other unit have a spare key, but they sleep from 2am-2pm and no matter how many times we rang their doorbell they never came. And everyone else was either asleep or at work. So... there we were as 2 helpless missionaries with no phone no shoes no neighbors and no way to get inside (and no camera to document it which made me kind of sad). And so I said what are the odds we left the car unlocked.. we did. So we sat in the car for warmth and thought about what to do. Longer story shorter we sat in the car and my first suggestion was to climb up the tree, climb onto the roof and hope the window was unlocked and climb in through there. Sis Rea totally rejected it but I kept suggesting it and finally, we did that. It was slightly terrifying and I saw myself coming home with a broken femur for a minute, BUT it totally worked and it was awesome. We reinacted it with her camera since mine was dead. So there's a pic or 2. That was a lovely adventure this morning, and it probably means nothing to you but it was hilarious and utterly helpless for us. It was fun.

SO, anyway.

This week was probably one of the hardest thus far... I'm kind of struggling taking over this area. I feel like Sis Rea is annoyed with me because I don't know as much as I should and she asks me who these people are all the time and I have no idea and it's just frustrating. She'll ask me what we should do and who we should visit and I have no idea. I feel like I don't know anything. And our area is struggling in the first place as it has been, and she came from a place where she had a baptism or 3 a week. And I feel like she just expects so much of me and I have so little to offer. And for the first time I had a little bout of homesickness. One night I was just done and for the first time I thought I just want to go home, this is too hard and I'm not worth it anymore. Sis Rea is way sweet though. One night she just sat there waiting for me to decide what we should do as I stared at the map and I just started crying cause I felt so hopeless and she just held me and let me cry, which was good cause I haven't been able to just cry for a while. Sis Rea is good at helping me feel better - she knows what to say and we came to find out last night that we've been through a lot of way similar stuff. And we bonded a lot. In the first couple days I thought this compship may struggle cause I got slightly annoyed with her sometimes.. (she is Barbie. walk,talk,dress,you name it). But we're coming to understand each other more and I think we'll be good. We agreed to just be totally open with each other and say when somethings bothering us (and I told her I didn't like how she argued with this anti on a doorstep yesterday and they were yelling at each other and I stood there like oh..dear.. (there was no hope of fixing that situation and the spirit was totally gone). So. Things are hard right now. I just don't feel good enough to be here and I questioned my decision to be here and I feel so weak. But in my blessing Elder Bing (our DL who is my absolute favorite person ever I love him) said something about how my weaknesses are going to come out and let God turn them into my strengths, and that Heavenly Father is proud of me and I AM supposed to be here, and he said that you will serve the full 18 months. So that really helped a lot. There are still but a few things I will never be able to deny and that is that God lives and He loves us, and the power of the Priesthood. I am amazed by it all the time. And I must go, and I so wish I could tell you all that happens and the miracles we saw ok actually I will tell you real quick. Yesterday was fast Sunday and we prayed and fasted so much that someone would come to church and nobody came that we planned on EXCEPT this guy David who brought himself to church and he's read the book of Mormon already. like, WHAT. and while we sat there talking to him another lady walked in who said she saw a BoM on the bus stop and took it as a sign to come to church. WHAT. MIRACLES, man. It was awesome. But I wish I could convey a mission. But I can't. So, just know that it really is the hardest most difficult and rewarding and growth-enducing thing ever.

PS--[Funny side note-- when I told Charity to go buy some bug spray to get rid of the spiders this was her reply "ps- we prayed that spiders wouldn't come in any more a few weeks ago and they haven't come IN (just on our door). God is better than bug spray :)"]

the first few is when we got caught in our torrential downpour. and some slugs. and the clouds which I love

 our zone last transfer at our zone lunch at capitol lake park which was just lovely!
and the capitol across the lake.

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