Final Report

So, turns out we have a little time to email today before I go to the mission home. So I figured I would send a copy of my final report that our mission writes our last transfer and makes copies and gives to President and all our missionary friends. If you'd like, you may enjoy! Excuse my mistakes - we didn't get too much time to work on it :)

 

LOVE YOU ALL - SEE YOU TOMORROW

 

Love,

Sister Charity Wilson

 

 Lead, Kindly Light

The Final Report
of
Sister Charity Elise Wilson
July 9, 2014 – January 20, 2016

 

There is no adequate way to put into words the experience that my mission has been and the things I have learned and felt, but it is my hope and prayer that I will be able to share just a few of those things that I have learned in my time as a full-time missionary. My mission was not easy, but I know it was not meant to be easy. This is the place where I have come to know my Savior, and getting to know Him is not an easy path. I felt His Atonement personally and had the privilege of seeing it work in the lives of others I love so much. This time has become sacred time to me because of the sacrifice it took. I know that I am not done learning and growing and my missionary work does not stop here, but I wish to share just a few of the countless experiences (some I still don’t recognize the depth of or show enough appreciation for) and lessons I have had and learned in the Washington Tacoma Mission.
 

Listening to the Spirit

Prior to my mission, I had a hard time recognizing the Spirit. I've learned infinitely more about how the Spirit speaks to me (although it’s still a work in progress). I often expected too much. The prophets mean what they say when they say “still small voice.” It really is the key to everything we do as missionaries. If we want to be successful, we need the Spirit.
 

We were knocking one night and had planned to turn down a certain road, but felt ever so slightly that we should keep going straight. Not saying anything at first, I started to turn. The feeling came ever so slightly to me again that we should keep going straight, so I stopped and we turned around and went straight. The 2nd house we came to, Lois opened the door and a look of shock and confusion poured over her face. We introduced who we were and what we were sharing and her face got more and more confused. She explained to us that her family had just concluded a heated dinner discussion on Jesus Christ and who He was, and right as her husband left the room upset we knocked on the door offering to teach them about Him and His gospel. It was perfect timing, and it would have been so easy to disregard that soft prompting to keep going straight and miss that opportunity. Lois allowed us to come back and teach her, which was one of the best memories I have where I truly felt I was needed in her situation. I have learned that most promptings will be soft like that. That is why we keep ourselves close to the Spirit, being obedient to God’s commandments, so that we will be sensitive to when He is trying to speak to us and see the miracles that are waiting when we do.
 

God Prepares His Children
 

I know that God is preparing each and every one of His children to receive His gospel. It's all about timing, and sometimes we are so blessed to be in the right place when people are ready. Being a part of a baptism is a miracle. It’s nothing we’ve done and nothing we’re worthy of, but God loves us so much that He has allowed us to be a part of this great work.
 

There was a point in my mission where my companion and I were doing everything we were supposed to be doing and working super hard, but we were seeing nothing from it. Nobody would listen to us, our few investigators weren’t progressing, and we didn’t know what else to do. So one Sunday we fasted that our investigators would come to church that day. We were roaming the chapel and waiting by the doors, but nobody was showing up. Right when I was starting to worry, a member came up and pointed out a nonmember sitting in the back row wearing a colored button-down shirt and told us to go talk to him. As we did, David told us how a nurse at the hospital had given him a Book of Mormon and he read it within days. He knew it was true, so he came to church. #what. Before that conversation was over, another member pulled me away to talk to a lady who had also
brought herself to church because she saw a Book of Mormon sitting on the bench at the bus stop and took it as a sign that she needed to come today. David took the lessons and was later baptized. I know that nothing I did or could have done was worthy of that opportunity to meet and teach him. Only by the grace of God do we see baptisms. God is so involved in our lives, and He does prepare His children to receive the gospel. The best moments on my mission were the times when I knew I was being used as a tool in Heavenly Father’s hands to bring them back to Him. None of our planned investigators came to church that day, but I know that God knew we were working hard and praying hard. Obedience is the price, and in His ultimate grace and love He blessed us with the miracle of David.

Faith over Fear

 
I learned a lot during my time in Deschutes River. The days got shorter and knocking got darker, which was a real adjustment for me. Then the rain came, and the fog rolled in, and it was freezing. Many nights the fog would be so thick among the trees that we couldn’t see even a few feet in front of us with the glare of our flashlight.

And so, I spent the darkest and coldest months of the year in a teeny town in the middle of nowhere. To give you an idea, there were approximately 5 streetlights in our whole area, no stoplights, and very few sidewalks, so most of the time we would walk along the side of highways trying to find driveways. It was during knocking 5-7's every night in the thick, lightless forests that I came to really envision the song, Lead, Kindly Light. It was extremely foggy, especially when it got dark. Being out in the boonies, there were a lot of super long farm roads surrounded by thick forest, making it especially dark. The only light would be our (sometimes dying) flashlights and the stars (if you could see them). It was usually freezing and/or raining, and still you could feel the fog seeping in around you getting thicker and darker. Many times we couldn't see more than 2-3 feet in front of us. But one thing that the Spirit began to teach me is the beginning of that hymn:
 

"Lead, kindly light, amid th'encircling gloom… The night is dark and I am far from home; Lead thou me on!... I loved to choose and see my path but now lead thou me on."
 

The concept of “trusting God” became a lot more visual. I'm the kind of person who very much likes to see where I'm headed, but I've been learning that we don't always get to see where we're going and we simply have to push forward trusting that God is going to lead us on. Like President Uchtdorf said, “There are times when we have to step into the darkness in faith, confident that God will place solid ground beneath our feet once we do.” We don't know all the reasons yet, and it is uncomfortable, but we can let God lead us. It is easier for me to say now, after many experiences and help from the Lord,
 

“Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see the distant scene – one step enough for me.”
 

Letting go and letting God is not an easy thing to do, I can testify to that, but it has blessed me more than I can say. Despite my many worries and fears, He has never let me down. It's not about what I want, it's about what He wants and needs me to be and do. We can have faith in Him because He has shown us time and time again in the scriptures, and in the lives of those around us, that we can and we should trust Him. “He has revealed Himself and His perfect character...so as to enable the mind of man to place confidence in Him without reservation (BD Faith).” I know that as I have come to sincerely pray and study the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon, my testimony of the reality, constancy, and dependability of our Father in Heaven has become real.
 

Love is the Motive
 

In the first couple weeks of my first transfer in Olympia, we weren’t received very well while knocking. We had some harsh responses sometimes, which I hadn’t experienced much of. I prayed for charity, because I knew I would feel better about the people yelling at me if I did. One day we knocked into man who immediately began yelling at us for being everything we do wrong. My trainer tried consoling and correcting him, and he looked at me for a second and said, “Do you believe this??” I said yes, and he began yelling at me, too. It was the strangest thing, but suddenly I felt this wave of peace come over me and as I looked into this man’s eyes, I could see the fear and confusion behind them; I felt this surge of charity come over me. I began to understand the why behind what he was doing, and what I was doing. I was there to help him find the peace and happiness he needed.
 

I had a hard time with knocking for a while, so I decided after a powerful training that I would pray for a testimony of knocking. Within a week, we knocked on Diana’s door. We introduced what we were sharing and she asked us, “Who is Jesus Christ? How do I repent?” Caught off guard, we explained that that is exactly what we as missionaries teach. She replied, “Well, you better come in.” As we taught Diana, she soaked it all in. Her countenance changed more powerfully and more quickly than anyone I’d seen. After a particularly amazing and powerful lesson on exchange, I was so excited telling my companion all about how much she’d changed and was on date and how awesome it was. The next morning she opened the door and told us she never wanted to see us again and slammed the door, continuing to scream at and threaten us through the wall. My heart fell into a million pieces. I know she felt the Spirit, and she was on such an amazing path to change her life. She refused to talk to us, but we never stopped praying for her. A few weeks later during weekly planning, she called. When I answered the phone, she said quietly, “Sister Wilson, do you still love me?” My heart fell again into a million pieces. She explained that she knew she had felt something different and she knew her life was better when she talked with us, and she wanted that again. She was baptized a couple weeks later. It was an adventure, and I’ve never felt so much love for people as I have when teaching them the gospel. I felt just a portion of what God must feel for us. I’ve learned so much about charity and felt it in a way I hadn’t before.
 

By the Grace of God
 

Our mission “theme song” so to speak is Amazing Grace. If we’re being honest here, when I came to Washington I didn’t understand what that meant. I know now that grace is “divine help or strength” given through the Lord Jesus Christ. There are several instances in the Book of Mormon referencing “the strength of the Lord.” We know that every time the Nephites went forth “in the strength of the Lord” they were brought out victorious, and every time they relied on their own strength they “were left in their own strength,” which amounted to nothing. I have felt on my mission the times when I had the “strength of the Lord” on my side. At one point in Olympia, we knocked into the head of a worldwide anti-Mormon club. He bragged to us how many people he had drawn away from the church and when we tried to testify to him, he would smile and tell us how he used to say the same thing as a former bishop. While he was talking, an overwhelming and powerful amount of the Spirit came over me and I testified to him the truthfulness of the gospel and the repentance that was still available to him, that we could help him find the faith he once had. It was an extremely powerful experience, so much so that he began to hide his face behind the door in fear as we testified to him with such intensity. Let me tell you, that was not me. “Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his
strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.” (Alma 26:12) I felt that day as if I was talking with the devil, and I felt the overwhelming power that the Spirit of God has. It is infinite. I have felt His strength in doing things I could have never done on my own.
 

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”
(2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
 

I have felt His guiding hand pushing me on. The days when I didn’t feel I couldn’t take another step I felt His loving arms carrying me forward and cheering me on. He is there; He hears our prayers both spoken and silent. I know He does. His grace and His strength is real, and it is ever-present and available to each of us at every moment of devastation, grief, fatigue, pain, sorrow, and joy.
 

I Believe in Christ
 

One of my favorite hymns is I Believe in Christ. It portrays perfectly my feelings and testimony of Him:
 

4th verse:
I believe in Christ; he stands supreme!
From him I'll gain my fondest dream;
And while I strive through grief and pain,
His voice is heard: "Ye shall obtain."
I believe in Christ; so come what may,
With him I'll stand in that great day
When on this earth he comes again
To rule among the sons of men.
 

French translation:
Yes, I believe in Christ, Lord, my God.
To him I owe my happy days.
Because in my pain or my grief,
I hear his voice that supports me.
Yes, I believe in Christ; he will rule.
That blessed day, I'll be there
Despite adversity;
At his side, I will stand.
 

I Believe in Christ. He is my King, my Lord, my God, my eternal Friend. I know He lives. Truly I owe each and every one of my happy days to Him. He is the reason for my joy and every feeling of peace and love I have ever and will ever feel. “I believe in Christ; so come what may.” Because of Him, I can face whatever comes. There will be grief and pain, but He will be there to the end and further, however dark it may become. I will stand by Him forever because I know He will stand by me. I have learned to put my trust in Him and say bravely, “lead, kindly light.” I bear witness that the healing power of the Atonement is real. I have seen miracles that have changed my life. He is real. His love is real. He is my Light, my Life, and my Hope. We invite others to come to Him and allow Him to change them, because He does and He will. I will forever be indebted to Him for the blessing of my mission. Because of Him, I am not a returning missionary, I am returning as a missionary. I forever will be – I was not called to serve for 18 months, I was called to serve forever. There’s no such thing as endings. I love Him with all of my heart and I will serve Him with all of my strength. He is the reason why we are here. Because of His grace and love we don’t have to be who we were. That is part of the amazing message we share. I am forever grateful for His love, guidance, support, strength, faith, and example. I have been so blessed to serve as a missionary in the Washington Tacoma mission to invite people to come unto Jesus Christ and be baptized. It is sacred ground to me, because it is where I have truly come to believe in Jesus Christ and His gospel. For that I am forever grateful. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.